My Thoughts on Buppie Love

A girlfriend of mine, whom I initially met via Twitter and have had the opportunity to meet and work with since she moved to DC, recently wrote an article for Ebony entitled, “BUPPIE LOVE: Can You Truly Have It All?”  It’s a must read!  Please check it out, then of course come back here.

The article definitely reminded me a lot of myself when I was her age.  Not that I’m much older, I’m 2-3 years her senior.  Knowing the kind of person she is, I think we have quite a bit in common.  We’re both attractive, young professionals who are making our way up the nonprofit ladder while taking time to provide service to others.  We both enjoy blogging and being active on the social scene.  (Eb, if you’re reading this we’re overdue for another Margarita Monday, LOL.)  In addition to those things, we were raised with high expectations and began to somewhat doubt ourselves and if we were expecting too much when life didn’t quite pan out the way we thought it would.

What Happened to ‘Us’?

Today, one of my exes from grad school, sent me a message on GChat. (Sidenote: Re-reading that line makes me sound like I was a player, I only seriously dated 2 guys while in grad school).  We haven’t talked much over the past few years but we did hang out once or twice when he was in DC visiting his brother who lives in the area a couple of years ago.

When we hung out it was cool, strictly a platonic meeting, not a date or so I thought.  Each time, after he’d leave and go back to the west coast where he lives he’d start calling, texting, emailing me about how great it was to see me.  Somehow, never fail, the conversation inevitably would always turn into a “what happened to us” talk.

I’m So Happy For You

Last night I went to dinner with a few girlfriends to celebrate one of their birthdays.  The conversations these days seem to revolve around men, dating, sex, and body image and of course last night was no different.

When the topic of dating came up, I tried to keep quiet because I know my single friends don’t really want to hear me gush about my boyfriend and how amazing he is even though they may ask.  So one of my girlfriends decided to bring me into the loop and asked how everything was going with my budding relationship.

We always laugh when she asks this because of one time in particular when I was telling her how great things were going between us and her response was the most lackluster and ingenious “I’m so happy for you.”  The moment those words flowed out of her mouth, we both laughed at how phony they sounded. 

Keep An Open Mind

Recently, I was talking to one of my girlfriends.  She’s been single for as long as I’ve known her, since freshman year in college.  While she’s dated quite a few guys, she hasn’t been an official relationship all of that time.

She’s not one who always complains about there being no good men out there, even though she’s had her share.  Seems like at this point in her life she’s resolute in remaining single. 

State of Our Union: Shacking Up

Last week, I was watching TV with the boyfriend and a segment on how people view marriage has changed over the past decade came on.  According to the one stat, over 65% of couples live together before marriage.  Another surprising stat was people who have Masters degrees are more like to stay married.  Considering we both have a Masters, that’s promising news.

Before, I think too far ahead, we’ve only been dating since late October and official since December.  Things have been going great.  I guess I’ve been hesitant to write about our relationship in hopes of not jinxing things.  Honestly, I would have never imagined things going this well.  He’s a major part of my life and likewise I’m in his.

Our First Valentine’s Day

I know, I know, I promised to write more but with everything going on in my life right now (personally and professionally) it’s been hard. Besides, I don’t have any interesting, by interesting I mean horribly ridiculous stories about dating in DC, since I’m happily in a relationship.

The boyfriend, aka Mr. Detroit, and I have only been official for about a month and a half now but it seems like it’s been so much longer, in a good way.

Still Waiting for “The Talk”

With the holiday season upon us, things are still going well with my new friend.  We’ve been dating for almost two months now and although we spend like 4 days out of the week together going out, cooking dinner over eat others’ houses (he’s a great cook by the way) and hanging out with friends (single and married), we still have not had “the talk”.

On one hand, I’m feeling kind of anxious like where is this going?  On the other hand, I have to keep reminding myself we didn’t start dating until November, which was only last month.  So what’s the rush?

Tags: relationship type

Moving Too Fast

A couple of posts back I mentioned that I met a guy while I was at a party a few weeks ago, we’ll refer to him as Mr. Detroit.  Since then things have been cool.  Our first date was at a trendy new restaurant in the city.  We were supposed to meet for drinks but it turned into dinner and a nightcap before heading home. 

A few days later he called and invited me to a birthday dinner for one of his friends, where all of his close friends would be.  At first I was kind of nervous because I was thinking I barely know you, I don’t think I’m ready to meet and be judged by your friends.  Plus DC can be very clique-y so I really didn’t know what to expect from his friends.

Why I Don’t Ask Men Out

As I was driving to work last week, I heard DC-based matchmaker Paul Carrick Brunson, of One Degree From Me, being featured on the Tom Joyner Morning Show.  I’ve followed him on Twitter for years and even heard him speak at an Urban League young professionals meeting on ‘Black Love’ last year.

Usually Paul’s advice is spot-on but the challenge he issued to women today, rubbed me the wrong way.  Prior to issuing the challenge, he gave an interesting stat saying that “Women over the age of 25, typically go on 3-5 dates a year.”  The whole time I was thinking that can’t possibly be right, but when I put it out to Twitter other black women said that was about right.  Maybe I’m just an anomaly, because I’ve done quite a bit of dating over the last 3 years.  Shoot, I was in a relationship for most of this year and I’ve been out with at least 5 guys and some of them multiple times in 2011 alone. But anyways back to the challenge…

Savvy’s Back on the Scene

So it’s been a few months since Mr. MSM and I broke up and went our separate ways.  Since then I’ve pretty much been lying low on the dating scene.  I’ve gone out with a few guys but until recently no one had really piqued my interest. 

During Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) weekend, I was out and about as usual and ended up meeting one guy.  He seemed to be a “nice” guy, no more no less.  I know here we go with the “nice” descriptor women use to describe a man she’s really not that into or at least not that into at the moment.