Still Waiting for “The Talk”

With the holiday season upon us, things are still going well with my new friend.  We’ve been dating for almost two months now and although we spend like 4 days out of the week together going out, cooking dinner over eat others’ houses (he’s a great cook by the way) and hanging out with friends (single and married), we still have not had “the talk”.

On one hand, I’m feeling kind of anxious like where is this going?  On the other hand, I have to keep reminding myself we didn’t start dating until November, which was only last month.  So what’s the rush?

Moving Too Fast

A couple of posts back I mentioned that I met a guy while I was at a party a few weeks ago, we’ll refer to him as Mr. Detroit.  Since then things have been cool.  Our first date was at a trendy new restaurant in the city.  We were supposed to meet for drinks but it turned into dinner and a nightcap before heading home. 

A few days later he called and invited me to a birthday dinner for one of his friends, where all of his close friends would be.  At first I was kind of nervous because I was thinking I barely know you, I don’t think I’m ready to meet and be judged by your friends.  Plus DC can be very clique-y so I really didn’t know what to expect from his friends.

Why I Don’t Ask Men Out

As I was driving to work last week, I heard DC-based matchmaker Paul Carrick Brunson, of One Degree From Me, being featured on the Tom Joyner Morning Show.  I’ve followed him on Twitter for years and even heard him speak at an Urban League young professionals meeting on ‘Black Love’ last year.

Usually Paul’s advice is spot-on but the challenge he issued to women today, rubbed me the wrong way.  Prior to issuing the challenge, he gave an interesting stat saying that “Women over the age of 25, typically go on 3-5 dates a year.”  The whole time I was thinking that can’t possibly be right, but when I put it out to Twitter other black women said that was about right.  Maybe I’m just an anomaly, because I’ve done quite a bit of dating over the last 3 years.  Shoot, I was in a relationship for most of this year and I’ve been out with at least 5 guys and some of them multiple times in 2011 alone. But anyways back to the challenge…

Savvy’s Back on the Scene

So it’s been a few months since Mr. MSM and I broke up and went our separate ways.  Since then I’ve pretty much been lying low on the dating scene.  I’ve gone out with a few guys but until recently no one had really piqued my interest. 

During Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) weekend, I was out and about as usual and ended up meeting one guy.  He seemed to be a “nice” guy, no more no less.  I know here we go with the “nice” descriptor women use to describe a man she’s really not that into or at least not that into at the moment.  

What About Your Friends?

Over the years, I’ve seen many girlfriends fall into the trap of meeting a guy, making him her end all be all, and dumping her friends for a relationship. Not to sound negative, ok maybe a little, but 99.9-percent of the time things didn’t end up working out.

It was one thing to be like that when we were younger, in our teens and twenties, but I feel like now we need to be smart about who we’re dating before giving up on our relationships with female friends. 

Missed Signals

Maybe it’s just me but I hate when I come across someone I’m attracted to and they either don’t feel the same way or they display signs of mutual interest but nothing comes of it.

Last week, I attended a fundraiser and spent part of the evening greeting all those who came in for the event.  I’m pretty introverted so being a greeter isn’t my favorite thing to do but I’m friendly and I’ll do it when needed.  This one guy came in I greeted him and thought hmm he’s cute.  I asked him if he was there for our event, he wasn’t, so he went about his business but remained within my gaze.

Back Like I Never Left

Can’t believe it’s been 3 months since I’ve written a post.  Hmm where do I even start?  So for my loyal readers, Mr. Middle School Math aka “The Broke One” broke up.  I know it’s a shock right.  Doubt it!  I tried something new but in the end I knew that I had to be true to myself.  Why should I continue to try to accept someone who isn’t what I’m looking for? 

In my last post, You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em…, the relationship was definitely on the rocks but I decided to wait it out until my birthday (the end of July) to make a final decision. 

You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em…

So I’ve been official with the boyfriend for almost 6 months now, boy has time flown.  We’ve had our share of good days and bad days but in spite of it I’ve held on and enjoyed the ride.  I hate being a quitter so I’ve been trying to work through whatever issues we may have.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been starting to have doubts regarding our relationship.  Not that I haven’t known this all along, but we are two very, very different people.  At first, I accepted it as a challenge with the mindset that I’ve dated enough  guys who were more of my caliber but things hadn’t worked out so it was time to finally take a walk outside of my comfort zone and explore other options.

Single = Not Married

Over the last few months, my posts on this blog have been few and far between for a number of reasons.  Recently, I’ve been wanting to write about my current relationship but was fearful of doing so as to not jinx the relationship. 

So life has been good, the relationship hasn’t been perfect but things are going well.  The only thing I’ve had to kind of get used to is not going out as much.  Being that I’m somewhat of a social butterfly and if I had the option, I’d be happy going out every single day of the week.  My guy is such the total opposite.  He’s content with not doing anything but eating at home and renting a RedBox. 

Let Me Upgrade You

So the other day I was having a conversation with one of my girlfriends about the men in our lives.  I was telling her how things were going great with my guy but how I just couldn’t seem to get over the fact that we’re so different.  Yes, cue in the violins and maybe play a little Beyonce “Let Me Upgrade You” in the background.

I can’t help it, I’m constantly trying to ingratiate him into my life by showing/telling him the things that I like.  The best part is he makes an honest effort to try to do these things even if they are out of his comfort zone.  No matter what it is that I suggest he’ll usually at least consider it and will comply if he know that it’s something that will make me happy.