A couple of posts back I mentioned that I met a guy while I was at a party a few weeks ago, we’ll refer to him as Mr. Detroit. Since then things have been cool. Our first date was at a trendy new restaurant in the city. We were supposed to meet for drinks but it turned into dinner and a nightcap before heading home.
A few days later he called and invited me to a birthday dinner for one of his friends, where all of his close friends would be. At first I was kind of nervous because I was thinking I barely know you, I don’t think I’m ready to meet and be judged by your friends. Plus DC can be very clique-y so I really didn’t know what to expect from his friends.
Fortunately, since DC is so small I ended up knowing the birthday girl through another friend and found out we’re in the same sorority. There were also two people there who went to the school I went to for undergrad, small world. The one alum was friends with a guy I dated in college, go figure. We ended having a great time at dinner and kept the party going by taking it to a lounge.
While it was cool to meet his friends, they’re a great bunch of people, I still can’t help but think that it was just a little too early. I guess in one way it’s a good sign that he thought enough of me to want me to meet his friends. In my experience, I’m a little hesitant to introduce the person I’m dating to friends and family until I know there’s something there. There’s nothing worse than introducing someone to your friends/family, they make a great impression, y’all stop dating and they always ask “what ever happened to so and so?” Grrr
Over the weekend, he asked me if I wanted to go out of town with him next month for another friend’s birthday weekend to hang out with the friend and his girlfriend. Thank God, I’ll be in Puerto Rico so I didn’t have to say no.
Part of me is impressed by the fact he wants to spend so much time with me and incorporate me into his life, despite the fact we’ve only known each other for 3 weeks. The other part is like he’s moving way too fast.
For now, I’m just playing it cool to see where his head is at. So do you all think it’s normal to meet the friends, when you’re only 2 weeks in? Fellas, have you ever introduced a girl you’d just started dating to your friends? Thoughts? Opinions? Comments?
I totally understand. Yes, too soon and moving too fast especially if he is making your uncomfortable. i had a guy tell me in 3 weeks he wanted to marry me. Let’s just say he is not around now, found out he was crazy , like meds crazy.
Grrrr. GREAT POST!
Sometimes there’s no real order to relationships, and things just happen. You may have to just go with the flow with this one, but continue to keep your guard up (as I know YOU will). Now going out of town would have thrown me as well… DEFINITELY way too early for that. Let’s see what his xmas gift will be LOL!
I have consistently been infused early. I usually meet parents within the first six weeks if they are local or within driving distance. But the reasoning has been different depending on the guy. Some are really into me. Some are into the idea of me (consistent companion and I’m pretty fun to be around). Some are trying to prove to the world they’ve moved on. Still others are trying to get me fully involved because they know by week six, they will let their true colors hang out. Getting me involved early, in their minds, makes me more likely to be too attached to bounce at the first sign of crazy.
Ms. Smart makes some very good points. I concur. I am pretty much like you in that in the past, I always took the introductions to my circle very slow(regardless of what the guy decided to do on his end) and this always worked well for me & was never a challenge. There were several guys that, even though they had paraded me around, by the time I would have been ready to bring them into my circle, the connected had faded & I was glad to not have to answer any questions from my people. However, I will say that I think that when you do this as a rule, the exception will always stand out, meaning when you meet someone that is ultimately going to matter in your life, the desire to “break your rules” will be stronger than usual & may be a strong indication that you are dealing with the exception & not the rule. It seems that when you find ” that one” everything usually plays out different than in past situations. I am glad to see you have met someone that you seem to be connecting with on all levels. Wishing you the best.
It’s me again.
Ok I wish this was a problem I had. LOL
Seriously though, you have to trust your instinct. I think it’s always best to move slowly and if it were me I would not have gone out of town so soon.
But it is a good sign that you know a lot of the same people. I think that decreases the chances of him being crazy.
Overall I think Ms. Smart’s comments pretty much hit the nail on the head.
-V